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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29505543">and then you leave me</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/hyacinthius/pseuds/hyacinthius'>hyacinthius</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Trials of Apollo - Rick Riordan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Post Burning Maze, Swearing, Thalia is sad, apollo’s in like one sentence, god bless taylor swift, grieving thalia, i can actually fit so much angst in this, just a bit, let her be tbh she deserves something for herself, reflective rooftop scenes are my jam, seriously it’s becoming my brand, someone tell me to write something that isn’t angst, thalia grace is selfish, thank you to lover for writing this for me</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-16 02:01:44</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>465</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29505543</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/hyacinthius/pseuds/hyacinthius</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>no one tells you how to prepare for the death of the little brother you barely knew, yet loved all the same.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>and then you leave me</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">she can see apollo’s mouth moving, knows he’s still talking and whatever it is is probably important, but she can’t hear him. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">dead, he says. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">jason is dead. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">her baby brother, who would do anything to keep his friends safe.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">(her baby brother, who did exactly that.)</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">gone, forever. and thalia feels...</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">nothing?</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">nothing. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">frankly, she isn’t surprised. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">she knew that jason had wanted a life, had desperately wanted to settle down, maybe have a normal school life, maybe go to college, maybe have a future. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">but between his loyalty to the gods who took him and his love for the family he found, that was never going to happen. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">thalia stands up and shoves apollo out of the way. he splutters a bit and stumbles, but doesn’t try to stop her as she heads for the roof. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">gods, she just,</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s1">she wishes it had been him. </span> </em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">the initial shock was fading a bit, replacing the numbness with rage. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">thalia’s fuming now, storming up the stairs of the roof access. her powers always were harder to control when she was angry, and she seriously needs to get out of here before she fries the electricity in the building. </span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">thalia throws open the roof door and walks to the edge. </span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">watching the shoelaces on her boots dangle over the street, so many feet below, the emotions start coming back to her. </span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">(the tears come too.)</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">why?</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">why him?</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">gods forbid thalia ever getting to keep the one fucking positive thing that had happened to her in so long. </p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">why in the hell did jason have to be everyone’s superman? </p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">why did he have to always join the good cause, risk his life for someone else’s?</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">couldn’t he be selfish for one second?</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em>why did he have to be such a goddamn hero?</em>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">she was so stupid. so disgustingly naïve to think this could last. to think they might, one day, be adults. that he might find someone and start the life he’d dreamed of, and she might be able to see him, her baby brother, more often.</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">that maybe just a tiny sliver of what they’d lost as children.</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">that maybe they could be a family, along with percy and hazel and all of the other unfortunate souls who had the shitty luck to end up with this life.</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">all she wanted was for her friends, her <em>family</em> to be safe, and happy, and <em>alive.</em></p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">alive.</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">but that could never happen, not with the gods constantly bringing children in to clean up their messes, not giving a fuck about the lives they impacted, the way they put their own kids into danger.</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">she can’t believe she thought the bit of happiness she found could last.</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">of course it couldn’t.</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">because, in the end, nothing ever did.</p><p class="p1"> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i do love long end notes so buckle up lmao</p><p>this is a coping mechanism fic bc that’s all i write 😋</p><p>i have no idea what the setting here is and don’t want to actually check so bear with me</p><p>i am a slut for reflective rooftop scenes !! i just love them !! so much !!</p><p>it’s been a while i’m sorry uh this fic is an expanded version of a twitter thread i wrote in about an hour when i was really missing someone and i was thinking about thalia bc she’s a comfort char of mine and here we are !! </p><p>original title was “meet me in the afterglow” but i like this one better :)</p><p>for caly happy early birthday this is a rather sad birthday fic but um i love you so much</p><p>i do not write fluff lmao i write short sad shit just long enough to ruin ur night okay okay</p><p>  <a href="%E2%80%9C">twitter</a></p><p>thank you for reading &lt;3</p><p>i love you so much</p></blockquote></div></div>
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